May: My Quarter Life Crisis

Well, this title was inspired by Estee Lalonde, a famous youtuber, first she was a beauty, lifestyle youtuber but I think she started to focus more on lifestyle topics, which I like a lot, because I think I don’t really know a full lifestyle youtuber, do you know some? Anyway, she was talking about her life crisis and I wanted to write a post about my life crisis, but I didn’t know how to name it, when I saw her Video and read the title, I just took over her title

I am not 25 yet like Estee, but I can totally understand her. I was recently thinking more than usual about my future and I spent literally 2 weeks crying my eyes out. I felt like I haven’t achieved anything in my life so far and I was doubting my studies again ( which I still do ). I also lost sight of my goal and therefore I was very unhappy. I experience this phase a lot, but this time it was severe and the reason why, is that I recognized how old I am. I know, 23 is not old but comparing to when I was 18 it is.

I am just at the age now, where you have to take more responsibilities like paying bills, having serious relationships, deciding how your future should look like, etc. It’s just the fact that I am on my way to the 30s and you cannot travel as much as you like or do whatever you want anymore. I think the problem is my time, I mean at a certain age, people expect from you something and the pressure is big to fulfill society’s expectation. For example by 25 my parents expect me to be married and have kids, well that won’t happen so soon because I still want to build a career and we are fighting a lot about this topic.

Because of that expectations, the pressure and my current age that comes within, I started to doubt my whole life, if I was doing things right. I still feel like I don’t know what I want to do in the future, first I was so sure to work as a consultant in a big company like BCG, McKinsey or BAIN. But I realized, that’s not what I really want. Then I thought, having my own business would be my dream. But the question is, what kind of business? Now I don’t have a clue what I should do with my life but at least I know in which direction it should go and I am glad that I already have someone who I want to spend my future with.